My Girlfriend Wants to Be Friends Again and Start Over

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Ane twenty-four hours, you notice yourself looking at your girl friend as more just a friend who happens to be a girl. You get-go looking at her as girlfriend textile, and wanting to get closer to her on a romantic level. This is a tricky situation to exist in, considering you desire to figure out how she feels without jeopardizing your friendship in the process. Just if you play your cards right, you may exist able to turn your daughter friend into a girlfriend in no fourth dimension.

1. 1

   Try to effigy out how she feels nearly you. Your newfound feelings of affection for your girl friend may exist light years from her own feelings about you. Afterward all, yesterday you lot were both friends, while today, at least one of you lot has shifted into new territory. Has she given you any indication that she might exist interested in something deeper than ideal friendship? Accept you lot seen signs of flirting or wanting to be close all the fourth dimension? Or does she human action the way she always has done, friendly, circumspect and appreciating but only in the manner of a good friend? Paying attending to these things can help you have a amend sense of the state of affairs.

   • See how she acts when she talks to you. Is she the same every bit she's ever been, or has she been all of a sudden acting more self-witting? If that'southward the case, then she may be nervous because she wants something more from you, too.
   • However, if she does act exactly the same, it doesn't hateful that she doesn't have new feelings for you. Still, it helps to try to gauge her feelings earlier y'all proceed.
   • Was she always comfortable telling you about the guys she likes, but she has recently stopped doing that? This could be an indication that you may be the only guy she has feelings for.

2. two

   Ask your friends what they think. You lot may exist and then hung up on the thought of dating your favorite daughter friend that y'all may not be reading the signs properly. If you have some trusted friends who have hung out with the two of yous and can lookout you in action objectively, so don't be afraid to ask them what they honestly call up your chances are. A true friend will requite you his honest stance, and he may be able to tell you if he thinks she likes you, or if she just sees you lot every bit a friend.

   • Of course, your friends may just be telling you what you want to hear. Merely if you lot seek out an honest friend and ask for an honest opinion, you may be in luck.
   • This doesn't hateful that your friends will exist able to read the situation better than you lot can. Just it does assistance to accept your suspicions confirmed, or to have your friend break the news that the girl actually likes someone else.

3. three

   Avoid the friend zone. Exist clear. The problem often lies in beingness nice, as friends ordinarily are. Niceness is an admirable quality in friendship but it's banal when it comes to passion and beloved. Existence nice rather than flirtatious and daring will give her the impression that you are a groovy friend, but not a nifty lover. If you proceed it upwards, you'll most likely go stuck in the friend zone.^[one] The answer? You really need to flirt more! And if you don't think y'all're any expert at flirting, don't worry––flirting is, and should be, playful and fun.

   • Don't let her do the usual "friend" things with you. Don't allow her treat yous like a girlfriend or tell you about a male child she likes. Make sure that she sees you as more that.

4. 4

   Brand sure it's worth information technology. Earlier you lot go and ask out your daughter friend, make sure that you're actually ready to have the chance involved in asking out 1 of your friends. If she's one of your best friends, or is fifty-fifty your all-time friend, then you have to make certain that your feelings are really genuine and that you're set up to have the plunge, and to risk the friendship you have by dating. In the cease, your friendship may be more than of import than your romantic relationship.

   • The truth is that near relationships don't finish in marriage, and you lot may non be able to render to your old friendship when you break up. However, if you actually exercise like the girl and see a real future with her, and then y'all should go for information technology.^[two]

1. 1

   Take care of your advent. Brand certain yous expect your best. If you oasis't taken a lot of intendance about your appearance around her before, this will be a good firsthand signal that you've taken things up a notch. But it'southward overnice to look your best anyhow, as it increases your conviction too. You shouldn't suddenly put a ton of gel in your hair or wear a arrange when you lot hang out, but making an actress attempt with your looks will make her discover you more and will make her run across that y'all're starting to view her differently.

   • Try to apparel nicely when yous are around her, brand sure yous take showered, shaved, and done whatever to brand sure y'all look skillful. Simply don't turn upwards in a tuxedo or reeking of aftershave. Clothes for the occasion, and smelling like yous've but bathed in cologne is a turn off, not a turn on. Less is more with odour. If you look good, you experience good.^[3] Taking an effort with your advent is a way of saying "Await! I bothered to make myself await prissy, and I have care of myself. I intendance plenty near y'all to dress well."

2. 2

   Be more than playful. While you may already have a fun relationship, sense of humour can exist a path to winning her centre. Try joking around more frequently and existence playful in her presence. Tell her things that are genuinely actually funny and assist her to meet that you're the kind of guy who loves to find the humour and fun in life. Glance at her in suggestive ways, then laugh when she starts looking serious about information technology (don't come up beyond as a staring oddball).

   • Find ways to compare your relationship to other funny people you know in real life or in amusement circles. Fifty-fifty better if these people are romantically fastened. Examples of some famous couples brought together by comedy include: Amy Poehler and Will Arnett, Anna Faris and Chris Pratt and Judd Apatow and Leslie Isle of mann.
   • Sometimes tickle games tin piece of work but be careful. If y'all come across as trying to "cop a experience", you're doomed. Moreover, not all girls like tickling. Accept your cue from her responsiveness and never overdo information technology even if she does similar it. Be prepared to be amused in turn.
   • Teasing the girl slightly is a great way to exist playful and to flirt with her a bit. Just make sure you don't cease upwardly offending her by mistake.

3. 3

   Increase the physical contact. You may already exist quite affectionate toward one some other. However, it's now time to amp upward the contact in means that could be considered flirtatious without crossing the line. For case, aim to touch her at to the lowest degree three times each time y'all run across up with her. Touch for no longer than two to three seconds (long enough for it to register subconsciously) and only touch her where it won't exist uncomfortable, such as her mitt, shoulder or neck.^[4]

   • Share food. The deed of sharing one another's nutrient when out dining or having a snack is intimate and can increase the chances of closeness.
   • Hugs are good. They express friendship but also help increment the closeness that might help y'all to get more than friends.

4. 4

   Be useful. Practice things for her, like helping her out whenever you lot can. This could be anything from housework and maintenance to homework and preparing for interviews. Helpfulness is a sign of being considerate, which is very sexy. She'll run into that you intendance almost her and desire to do nice things for her. Just make certain you lot don't exercise everything for her, or she'll think of you as a puppy canis familiaris. She should practice dainty things for y'all, too.

   • Existence useful and helpful does not mean be bossy or superior. If she tin can practice something herself, admire her ability openly rather than advise you lot could exercise it better. Naught scares off a potential romantic interest than arrogance or belittling.

5. 5

   Listen to her attentively. Don't just sit there and nod your head pretending to listen.^[v] Girls dearest it when you listen and have the fourth dimension to truly sympathise them. Not only that, only listening will benefit the potential futurity relationship and also strengthen your current friendship.^[six] Show her that yous tin be beau textile by being a gentleman.

   • When she talks to you, make middle contact and put away your phone or other distractions. Let her see that you really intendance well-nigh every discussion she says.
   • Avoid interrupting her. Wait until she's finished to say what you lot accept to say.

6. half-dozen

   Remember details well-nigh her past heart. Good ones to remember include her birthday, siblings, telephone number, favourite nutrient, favourite colors, hobbies, ambition and things that she has already told you. Write down these important details if your memory is not good; it may help jog your memory just earlier important chats. This will aid her see that you lot really do intendance nearly her.

1. one

   Invite her to parties. If you both similar to dance and spend time partying, offer to exist her engagement. It may exist reassuring for her at first to take someone familiar past her side, while the rhythm of the party and the natural excitement of the event might aid to plough things your way. Spending time together at the political party can put your relationship in a whole new light.

2. two

   Close the gap. Utilize your body language to go closer to her every bit you go stronger signals that she'south interested. Lean your shoulders towards her, lean on her very gently, face her ofttimes and use touch frequently. Again, hugs are e'er good! Take note of how she responds when you try to get closer to her. If she welcomes the closeness and seems comfy with it, then y'all're on the right track.

   • Take care not to fall into or on her, to catch her or to squeeze or hold her too difficult.
   • Play footsie. This should only happen when you are sure she'due south got the message and has started to reciprocate your amorous intent. It's cheeky, titillating and fun when the moment is right.

3. 3

   Go out her wanting your presence more than. Don't spend besides much time effectually her. Instead, spend lots of time, and then none for a while, and so more again, and flirt while you are there. While you are gone, she is given a take a chance to think about you, which hopefully she volition. This will also help you play hard to get. If she knows that y'all'll always be bachelor, and then she'll be less likely to want to hang out with you.^[7]

   • Spend more time with her when she is happy than when she is sad. This helps her to associate happiness with you. If you are successful in making her your girlfriend, that's when it becomes important to back up her when she needs it.

4. iv

   Be flirtatious. Gradually increase your flirting means, provided you're getting the right signals in return. Permit things happen naturally. Tease her a bit, be playful, touch her lightly, and just treat her differently than you would other girls. Let her come across that you're non just flirtatious for the sake of information technology, only that you lot're directing your romantic feelings toward her.^[8]

5. 5

   Notice her interest in yous. As you are getting closer to her, and peradventure you feel like she feels a picayune something for yous, check for these signs to see if maybe she likes you back.

   • She has ane color nail varnish one solar day, and changes it the next when she's going out with y'all. She'southward trying to get your attention with the little things.
   • Hem lines get up, neck lines go down. Basically, she's seeing a dissimilar side of you, and she wants you... to see a different... bit of her.... as it were. She's establishing that she tin exist sexy too.
   • She bats her eyelashes and looks at you a lot.
   • Her movements become more gentle
   • Her tone of voice lowers slightly and becomes slower.

1. i

   Become a lilliputian more than forward. Go along i-on-i outings to the mall or movies. Maybe go out in the evening. When you start come across her (make sure yous're alone to avoid any unwanted ears) say something like "Wow. You lot look beautiful." And grinning.

2. ii

   Pick the right time and place. If you want to inquire her out, then pick a place where you'll take some privacy, and a time when she won't have a lot of other stuff on her mind. Though y'all don't want to expect effectually forever to pop the question, yous should piece of work on finding some privacy, and making certain she'll exist in a good mood. For case, don't pull her bated right before her big math test, or she'll be likewise distracted and stressed out to listen to you.

   • Once you've plant the fourth dimension, get her alone, trying to exist as casual as possible. If her friends are 5 feet abroad, you won't be able to have a skilful conversation.

3. iii

   Tell her why you like her. Don't make a big deal about it. Just give her a few compliments and tell her how much you like spending time with her. Let her know why she'south special to yous and that y'all're paying attending to all of the things that make her wonderful.^[9] Don't make her also embarrassed or lay it on as well thick; just take a few minutes to make her experience like the special girl that she is.

   • Yous can even gauge her reaction equally you're doing this -- if she looks uncomfortable or like she'southward searching for the nearest exit, and so you may non want to go along. Just if she's excited and looks like she wants to hear more, and so you may exist in luck.

4. 4

   Ask her out. Don't spend likewise much time edifice upwards to information technology. Just tell her that yous've really liked being her friend, just that you lot want to have your human relationship to the next level. Make her encounter that you've really thought about it, and that, though you value your friendship, you're willing to accept the take chances to accept your relationship to the side by side level. She will be flattered that y'all like her and so much as a friend and that you've put enough idea into it to see that you practise desire something more from her.^[10]

   • Just say, "Would yous like to be my girlfriend?" Or, "Would you like to exit with me?" You lot don't have to spend hours edifice up to this point. When yous enquire her, await her in the eyes and show her how sincere you are.
   • Or, when y'all are pretty sure she'southward flirting back, or that she likes you lot too, lean in actually close, and say something along the lines of "I take to tell you something. I recall y'all're cute, funny, sweetness and honest. I don't want to ruin our friendship. I was just wondering whether yous felt the same most me." Be prepared for her respond. Let's but hope she'due south grinning and saying yes.
   • Remember if you come on too strong, and then you risk ruining your friendship. Take your time. Timing is everything, and you lot don't want to rush it.

5. 5

   Don't let it ruin your friendship if she's not interested. If she wants to be your girlfriend, then groovy! You can give her a hug, gloat, and take her out. But if she doesn't want to go down that path, then try not to be likewise disappointed. Remind yourself that this may be a blessing in disguise, and that yous may be better off continuing a long-lasting friendship than having a short-lived human relationship that will leave y'all feeling awkward and unlikely to be friends again. Certain, yous'll need some fourth dimension to get over your bruised ego, but afterward a few weeks, you and the girl may naturally autumn into friendship again.

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• Question

  How should I tell my friend I like her?

  

  Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist, Writer, and TV/radio host based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli is currently in private practice and specializes in individual and couples' relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli as well facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction also as acrimony management groups. Equally an author, she received a Next Generation Indie Book Accolade for her book "Thriving with ADHD: A Workbook for Kids" and besides wrote "Professor Kelli's Guide to Finding a Husband". Kelli was a host on LA Talk Radio, a human relationship expert for The Examiner, and speaks globally. You can likewise come across her work on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/kellibmiller, Instagram @kellimillertherapy, and her website: www.kellimillertherapy.com. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Piece of work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Folklore/Health from the University of Florida.

  

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  Effort to be direct and tell her. I would be very honest and say, "Hey, I run across some amazing qualities in you." Present your feelings in a way that shows that yous ii are compatible and that you come across possibilities in your relationship. Information technology'due south worth a endeavor to be courageous.

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• Take her side when it'southward warranted. Stand upwardly for her in front end of others. It volition exit a lasting, good impression.

• If she says she isn't interested, don't push information technology. That's called harassment.

• You may like to let her make the first move afterwards flirting. This makes things sure betwixt the two of you.

• Be nice to her and call her every in one case in a while, maybe like, 2-3 times a week. Then stop calling her for ane or two days. Then become back to calling her or text message her. Sooner or later, she'll be missing all the attention and she volition starting time to brand a motion. Give her some attention.

• Touch her. Not inappropriately. Avoid the lower back and chest. Gently castor confronting her and meet how she reacts. If she is side by side to y'all, hold her hand.

• It is incredibly hard to plow friendship with a woman into something romantic. Part of this is based on the fact that women treasure platonic friendships with men because they feel able to heighten questions and issues about male things without being judged or taken reward of. It can also come as a completely disturbing shock that a male friend wants to take things further after months or years of trusting the friendship at the ideal level. Proceed with great circumspection and be absolutely sure that this is a alter you truly desire.

• There is always a run a risk that a friendship will die in the pursuit of turning it romantic. That'south a take a chance you need to weigh up considering the vibes y'all're receiving, the length of fourth dimension yous've known each other and the realistic nature of turning your friendship into something more intimate. Listen to your gut feelings and picket all the clues from her side with great attentiveness.

• Don't exist stalkerish, calling at xi PM just to have an awkward conversation. Respect her privacy. If you want, you can ship texts asking her how she is, etc, simply don't call unless you accept a reason, or if you say "Sorry, I just really wanted to have a chat with you lot.". That'southward beautiful.

• Take care not to cross the line when touching her more than frequently. Observe the rule of non-sexual touching only, for cursory moments and continue it affectionate. It's sexual harassment if she asks you to cease and y'all don't, or if you lot bear upon her in sexually provocative ways without her consent.

• If she is shy, be extra considerate. Don't misinterpret her shyness as a reason for overriding her preferences. If she says she's non interested, respect that.

• Be careful. In some cases, yous might fail to plow the friendship into loving coupledom. However, the 2 of you may grow close enough to accept a sexually user-friendly human relationship known as "friends with benefits". This means that you're not attached romantically but remain friends who occasionally have sex. This can work for some only for many, it tin be painful, peculiarly if one partner cares more than deeply than the other. It tin can also turn into a human relationship of being used rather than caring for one another.

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Commodity Summary 10

To turn your friend into your girlfriend, make sure you look your best by dressing nicely and styling your hair so she'due south attracted to you. Flirt with her too by complimenting her and teasing her playfully to drib hints that you're interested. You tin as well flirt with her by touching her arm when you express mirth at her jokes, brushing against her, or tickling her. If you think she might similar yous besides, ask her on a appointment or simply ask, "Would you like to be my girlfriend?" For more tips, including how to figure out if your friend likes you romantically, read on!

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